40

I am not sure I ever felt like 40 was old before I turned 40, but now that I have reached that milestone, I felt old, it sounds old to say I am 40 and yet I still have more than half my life to live.

I didn't think I had any expectations for my 40th birthday and we had a wonderful day in NYC with the youngest two kiddos, but since my husband surprised me with a party on my 30th I think I was expecting a surprise of some sort on my 40th birthday, which is sort of silly, but true. I knew we would be in NYC and I know that we are not in a position to afford such a party, but I had originally wanted to get away for a few days with my three best friends and my sisters at the beach, but could not work out the details. I truly envy women that have yearly weekends away with their sisters or friends. I have always wanted to do that and yet have never had a group of close friends like that or been able to get my sisters to be able to get away for a weekend, due to circumstance or finances.

I told myself that I would plan more dinners and girls' nights out with friends and my sisters and cousins, but I haven't followed through with it. I suppose I could recommit to doing it and start with a coffee date with a friend tomorrow night.

I want my 40s to exceed my 30s and anything would be better than my 20s, so I guess I will just have to take the initiative and make 40 fabulous for myself.