I am so tired of doing this dance with depression. It is a two step I would rather not be doing. But, here I am again...one step forward and two steps back. I know I bring a lot of it on myself, skipping my devotions and spending so little time in prayer. It is a lie that I have chosen to believe - that I am too tired or whatever excuse I find to avoid doing the things that would help me, but instead I worry and wallow and sleep. It is just easier. I just feel like I let God down and that is why He allows my family to be such a screwed up mess. I just feel so done with all of it.
My health is suffering and so is my husband's and my younger children's, but I would rather sign myself into the hospital then deal with all of it.
Everything is spiraling out of control, but they are things I shouldn't even be in control of......
It is just a wicked cycle.
